Stupid Hormones
by Beaker Bait
Summary: "ROSE!" The Doctor raised his voice as he headed towards Rose's room completely oblivious to Pete standing at the end of the hallway. "For the last time I AM NOT GOING THROUGH PUBERTY!" Next story in the Discovery 'Verse


"Like a dog in a field full of squirrels (or plot bunnies in this case)'

That right there pretty much sums up my muse at the moment. Start chasing down one plot bunny then suddenly it's like oh new plot bunny chase it then it's oh there's another one and another...

Basically what I'm saying is that I meant to have this one up before now but the muse was being difficult.

* * *

Slowly drifting awake Rose made a content noise as she felt the comforting warmth of the Doctor spooned up behind her. It had been a month now since they'd been back in Pete's world and these days she found herself sleeping (just sleeping, nothing else) in the Doctor's bed more often than not and finding it harder and harder to remember why she ever would've thought it was a bad idea.

At first they'd been awkward around each other about sleeping arrangements, neither one willing to admit that they felt safer having the other close by. So both spent many a sleepless, restless night apart usually only ending up in bed with the other after a nasty nightmare drove them from the cold emptiness of their own bed into the warm comforting embrace of the other. After finally admitting that they always got a better night's sleep together rather than apart the two let go of their stubbornness and accepted that they were just made to be each other's teddy bears.

In the beginning back on that beach Rose, having a hard time accepting that the Meta-Crisis Doctor really was the Doctor, had truly felt that all she would ever be capable of giving him was friendship but as time went by she kept catching herself forgetting that he was a duplicate, a copy and just saw the Doctor, the man she'd loved for years. As the days went by she found herself drawing closer and closer to the Doctor but was hesitant to make that final leap not sure that he really felt the same way about her. Rose had spent a lot of time trying to push him away and now she was riddled with doubts; was the Doctor still within in her reach or had he been pushed too far away?

Thoughts churning Rose shifted back closer to the Doctor and froze - that's when she felt it, something poking into her backside, something most definitely _not_ a knee. At roughly the same time the Doctor still half asleep himself tightened his hold around Rose's waist, let out a low moan, and froze coming to the same realization about what was between them as Rose had.

In an instant his eyes snapped open and with what Rose assumed was a Gallifreyan curse he was pushing himself away to sit on the opposite side of the bed with his back to Rose, "Crap Rose, sorry…. sorry….I didn't mean for that...I don't know why that happened…"

"You don't know…." getting over the initial shock Rose started to see the humor in the situation. Moving over to kneel behind the Doctor she laid a hand on his shoulder, "well you see there are these things called hormones-"

"I know what hormones are!" The doctor was instantly off the bed, moving away still not turning to look at Rose.

"In theory maybe, but you've never actually experienced them before, not human ones anyway." Rose slowly slid up behind the Doctor and wrapped her arms around him before he could run away again then rested her cheek against his back. "Congratulations Doctor you've officially, after nine hundred plus year, reached puberty." She couldn't keep the smirk out of her voice.

"This isn't funny Rose," He whipped around to finally face her eye to eye, his cheeks red with embarrassment. "Lately I'm having all these conflicting emotions and urges and certain _things_ just seem to have a mind of their own now….I never had problems like this before the meta crisis….I think this body is defective."

"Again welcome to puberty." Rose placed a hand on either side of the Doctor's face leaning her forehead against his. "It's ok, it's a natural, normal, human male thing that happens to men some mornings. It doesn't have to mean anything."

"Rose stop saying that please, I am over nine hundred years old I am _not_ going through puberty." The Doctor pouted moving his head to rest on Rose's shoulder, loosely wrapping his arms around her waist.

"You may mentally be that old but technically your physical body is only a few weeks old and you said it yourself Time Lords don't do things the physical way like humans, so you've never had to deal with physical hormone stuff, it stands to reason that your new part human body will need a little time to adjust." Rose placed her hands on his shoulders, "face it you're going through a human/Time Lord meta-crisis version of puberty." She pushed him back enough to land a playful kiss on his head. "Deal with it," and with that she was out the door headed back to her own room to get ready for the day. Rose really hoped that the Doctor had been too distracted by his own embarrassment to notice how her own hormones had caused her body to start reacting in ways that most certainly would not have helped the situation had she given in to them.

With a frustrated sigh the Doctor flopped back down on his bed face first, (wincing as he was sharply reminded that his earlier problem had not been dealt with) and tried to ignore his traitorous body and the things Rose made it want to do.

* * *

Later that night when the Doctor returned to his room ready for bed, he paused at finding a present on his bed. Curious he picked it up giving it a shake hoping that would give him a clue, no such luck. Looking around suspiciously he tore open the wrapping paper to be greeted with a book: _Going Through Puberty: A Boy's Manual for Body, Mind & Health_ _._

"ROSE!" The Doctor raised his voice as he headed towards Rose's room completely oblivious to Pete standing at the end of the hallway. "For the last time _I AM NOT GOING THROUGH PUBERTY!_ "

Quickly deciding that his question could wait Pete did a quick about-face and headed back the way he'd come, hoping that Jackie hadn't heard the Doctor on the other side of the house, lest there be hell to pay.

* * *

"Doc-Doctor." Pete stuttered nervously as he entered the kitchen.

"Pete," the Doctor not noticing Pete's nervousness briefly glanced up from where he was leaning against the kitchen island reading the paper, cup of tea in hand. "Tea just finished brewing." Not needing as much sleep as full humans it wasn't unusual for the Doctor to be the first one up and about, so he'd made a habit of making sure there was a fresh pot of tea waiting for the others as they trickled in.

"Uh...right….yeah tea thanks." Moving around the island to the opposite counter Pete began fixing a cup of tea taking longer than normal trying to stall. _'Come on Pete you can do this, think of it as a practice run for Tony. You've had all night to plan this out in your head '_ squaring his shoulders Pete spun around to face the Doctor. "Doc-Doctor do we need to have a talk?"

"A talk?" The Doctor halted bringing his cup up to his lips and glanced at Pete over the rim, eyebrow raised. "About?"

"You know things..." Yeah his carefully planned speech just went flying out the window.

"Things?" This was a side of Pete the Doctor had never seen before and he wasn't sure what to make of it.

"Yeah things….guy things." Pete sighed, "look I know I'm probably botching this up, but it kinda caught me off guard. I figured I had at least another nine or ten years before I had to worry about this with Tony and it never even occurred to me that you might need….I mean you're a full grown man I guess I just assumed….but you're not human….well you are now partly anyway but you weren't before and why should I assume that just because you look human that Time Lords go through the same things in that department…"

"Pete you're rambling," the Doctor set his cup down, full attention now on the elder Tyler.

"Right, right, sorry. Like I said wasn't expecting this."

"What exactly are you trying to get at Pete?"

Taking a calming sip of his tea Pete squared his shoulders again, "It's just that I kind of over heard you last night…" he paused as the Doctor raised his eyebrow higher, how that was even possible he didn't know. "I had wanted to ask you a question about a piece of tech one of the field teams had brought in and was hoping to catch you before you got in bed…"

"Oh... _OH_ …!" It suddenly hit the Doctor like a ton of bricks just what exactly it was that Pete had heard and was trying to talk to him about. Pushing back from the island holding his hands up in horror the Doctor started backing towards the door. "Look Pete I don't know what you think you heard, but we are _not_ having this conversation, we don't _need_ to have this conversation."

"Hey this isn't exactly a picnic for me either, but I care about Rose….and you." Pete set his own tea cup down. "I don't know nor do I care to know about Rose's experience level in these things and I'm sure she's trying to be as helpful as possible during this confusing time for you, but I know from experience that a woman can only answer so much. I guess what I'm saying is that I just want to make sure that you guys are being smart and safe about things-."

"Whoa Pete I don't know what you think is going on between me and Rose but it's not you've got it all wrong…..We're not….And we've _never_...we're not together like that...not together at all actually." The Doctor was starting to feel like a cornered animal. "Before I just wasn't wired that way...and now...now she's not interested in me as anything other than a friend...we're just friends."

"And here I was thinking that you were some kind of genius." Pete couldn't help the laugh that escaped. "There is nothing 'just friends' about you two. You guys couldn't be just friends if your lives depended on it. Even if you're not together in _'that way'_ you are still most definitely together. This love that you share between you it transcendence space and time, hell it spans across universes. You're destined for each other," the Doctor scoffed at that "I'm serious, and trust me I think out of anyone I should know what that kind of love looks like. Hell I'm the guy married to his deceased wife's parallel universe counterpart. The guy who has two children with said counterpart one of which is yes genetically mine, but who I personally had no part in making, that was the honor of _my_ deceased parallel counterpart….and wow now that I stop and actually say that out loud...our lives are weird."

"Pete…"

"Right sorry off topic and not the point. The point is that you two are soul mates, one soul two bodies - ok well technically three bodies but the third guys not here and he's never coming back, so screw him - you're the one that's here, the one making the effort and she will come around just be patient." Seeing that the Doctor had just about hit his limit Pete decided to put him out of his misery. "Look we don't have to speak of this again, I won't bring it up if you don't. Just know that I'm here for you if you need anything-."

"Morning." Jackie's overly cheerful voice cut through the tension. Never in all of his lives had the Doctor been more glad to see Jackie.

Taking advantage of the interruption The Doctor bolted from the room like a spooked jack rabbit. Once clear of the room he leaned back against the hallway wall trying to get himself back under control.

"What was that all about?" He could still hear Jackie and Pete in the kitchen

"Nothing, just guy stuff." He could almost hear Pete shrug.

"Guy stuff, hmm…" Oh he recognized _that_ tone of voice.

Pete let out a sigh, he never could keep things from his wife. "I kind of over heard the Doctor getting upset with Rose last night and…"

"Oh is this about the puberty thing?"

' _What!? Jackie too?'_ The Doctor started banging the back of his head against the wall and missed Pete's response, but not Jackie's.

"Yeah I was at the bookstore with Rose when she bought that book for him, kind of hard to miss something like that."

' _Oh God Jackie knew...Jackie_ _knew_ _'_ the Doctor began to feel himself hyperventilating.

"Doctor?" The sudden feel of a hand on his bare arm and the sound of Rose's voice pulled the Doctor back from the brink of full panic. Taking a moment he tried to get his breathing under control but it wasn't happening as quickly as he'd like. Realizing that just being in Rose's presence was causing his traitorous body to react in ways he really didn't want it to right now the Doctor pushed off the wall with a low growl and stormed off.

"Doctor?" Rose started to go after him confused by his behavior, but stopped short when a hand fell on her shoulder. Turning her head Rose saw her mother standing behind her.

"I wouldn't just yet, probably best to let him cool off for a bit first." The elder woman wrapped her arms around her daughter from behind resting her chin on Rose's shoulder. "It seems that your father accidentally over heard the Doctor's reaction to your little gift last night."

"Nooo," Rose leaned her head back on her mother's shoulder.

"Yep and being the well meaning man that he is took it upon himself to try and have _'the talk'_ with him."

"Oh God he's going to kill me." Rose couldn't believe this was happening. She'd just meant to have a little fun and maybe feel out if he still felt the way he'd said he did about her before, not traumatize him for life. "Mum tell me I didn't screw things up."

"Oh don't worry about it he'll get over it and forgive you, trust me on this." Jackie shamelessly nicked her husband's signature catchphrase.

"That's not what….I didn't miss my chance with him did I….? From day one he's been willing to commit, to dive right in, but I couldn't, I just kept him at arm's length….I didn't understand at the time, didn't realize-."

"That he _is_ the same man that you fell in love with in every way that truly matters."

"Yes I see that now, it's taken some time but I see _him_ now, see him for who he truly is. So how do I get him to see _me_ again and not just 'the friend' I've been telling him I am?"

Jackie turned Rose to face her. "Oh Rose my sweet naive girl, you two couldn't be just friends if your lives depended on it." Jackie parroted her husband without knowing it, placing a kiss to Rose's forehead. "And you haven't ruined anything, the Doctor loves you, he would wait until the end of eternity for you. If you truly feel ready and want more from your relationship all you have to do his go tell him then grab his hand tight and never let go." She turned Rose back in the direction the Doctor had stormed off in and gave her a gentle push. "Now go on and go get your man."

It didn't take Rose long to find the Doctor out in the garden sitting on 'their' swing. Not having any idea what she should say Rose just stood there racking her brain for the right words. Almost as if a light bulb had gone off in her head Rose knew what she had to do, it was just like her mother had said and it had worked for the Doctor all those years ago, who's to say it wouldn't work for her too. Strolling up next to the Doctor she silently stuck her hand out. When he just stared at it dumbly she started wiggling her fingers enticingly until he got the hint and took hold of her hand.

Once she firmly had his hand in hers she leaned in closer whispering in his ear "Run!" and with that she took off across the garden, the Doctor hot on her heels. It wasn't an instant fix-it-all, it wasn't going to magically make things perfect between them, but it was a start, their perfect start. After all that was how their whole relationship had started in the first place it made sense to her that this next stage in their lives start in a similar fashion.

And so they ran and ran until the need for oxygen became too great forcing them to stop. Bent over gasping for air the two quickly realized they had no clue where on the property they were any more only that they were surrounded by trees lots and lots of trees. Soon after that discovery they realized that they didn't care, after all getting lost was half the fun of the adventure.

"Rose not that I'm not thrilled and willing to run with you for always, but what brought this on?" Finally getting his breath back enough the Doctor questioned Rose's odd behavior.

Rose, turned slightly away not looking at the Doctor. She still had no idea what to say, things were so jumbled up and chaotic in her head she didn't know where to start. She knew this was a conversation that they needed to have but where to start?

"Rose?" Using the hand he was still holding the Doctor urged Rose to face him.

"I'm sorry," the words blurted out of her mouth so fast they took the both of them by surprise.

"Sorry for what? You have nothing to be sorry for, ever." the Doctor cupped the side of Rose's face insuring her attention.

"I've been so unfair to you….I keep trying to push you away and hold you tight at the same time." She took hold of the hand on her face bringing it over to give it a chaste kiss. The Doctor stayed silent instinctively knowing that this was something Rose need to get off her chest. "I didn't…. couldn't wrap my head around the two of you being the same person. I've been trying so hard to convince myself that you're not him, just some cheap imitation and then you'll do or say something that is just so _him_ and I start doubting how I could ever think the Doctor had abandoned me because _he's_ right here, real as day, the man I fell in love with." She gripped his shirt for emphasis. "Then of course you'll go and do or say something that is so _not_ him and the cycle of doubt begins again."

"I wish I knew what I could do help you, but I do completely understand your dilemma." The Doctor let out a small huff of air. "I know that I am the Doctor, I know that down to my very being, but there are times I catch myself thinking or saying or doing things that he never would and I began to doubt myself, but Rose…." He gently cupped her face in both of his hands "The one thing that neither one of us ever needs doubt is that I love you and want nothing more than to spend whatever time I may have with you in my life in whatever capacity you'll let me have you."

Rose pulled the Doctor in for a breath stealing kiss, "I can't promise you this'll be easy, can't promise you a fairy tale happily ever after ending, but I'm willing to give it a go if you are."

Not feeling the need for words the Doctor just pulled Rose back in for another round of kissing barely noticing as she pushed him back against the nearest tree trying her hardest to become one with his body.

Thoroughly engrossed in her current task Rose barely took notice when her hand some how ended up under the Doctor's shirt, that was until all she encountered was a smooth plain of skin across his stomach. Pausing she started running her hand around in circles searching for something that her brain said should be there but that she just couldn't find. Realizing that Rose was no longer focused on snogging the life out of him the Doctor gently broke the kiss to questioningly gaze at Rose. Ignoring the raised eyebrow she was receiving Rose gripped the bottom of the Doctor's shirt and lifted, yep her eyes were telling her the same thing her hand just had and she couldn't quite seem to wrap her head around it - the Doctor had no belly button.

Finally realizing what had Rose so enthralled the Doctor couldn't help the amusement that seeped into his voice. "Loomed, not born remember? No umbilical cord, no belly button." When Rose didn't respond just kept staring the Doctor began to get nervous. He placed his hand over the one she still rested on his stomach, "Rose?"

"Hmm….what…? Oh right sorry." She tried to pull her hand back, but the Doctor's firm grip kept it in place.

"This isn't a problem is it?"

"What? No, no….just wasn't expecting a physical reminder of your alien-ness that's all. It's easy to forget sometimes that you're not human, not entirely any way."

"Rose I promise you, _everything_ else about this body is as you would expect for a human male adult. I may not be the most experienced at using it, but I've been told that I'm a quick study and I think that with the proper tutor I could easily move to the head of the class." The Doctor raised an eyebrow suggestively. "So what do you say Rose be my tutor?"

Rose couldn't stop the laughter that burst out of her if her life had depended on it, from anyone else that would have sounded like the cheesiest pickup line in all of creation, but from the Doctor...well is was just _so_ him and just _so_ perfect how could she say anything but yes. Pulling him back in close Rose resumed snogging the man as if their lives depended on it and as one of her legs slid in between the Doctor's she decided that oh yes things were most certainly where and how they should be.

As their kissing intensified the Doctor noticed things were beginning to get _very_ uncomfortable for him south of the border, if he didn't put a stop to this soon he was going to end up embarrassing himself. Just as he was about to pull back he felt Rose's leg push in between his and suddenly all rational thought went flying out the window. So what if he embarrassed himself if that was the price he had to pay for this then so be it. He would spend the rest of his life embarrassing the crap out of himself if it meant Rose would keep doing whatever it was that she was doing to make his body feel the way it did right now.

Arms tightly wrapped around the Doctor, Rose once again found her hands absently wondering, this time one of them found it's way under the Doctor's waistband lightly brushing against the top of his rear end. That was it that was the last piece, that feather light touch combined with the delectable friction being caused by Rose's leg and the addictive taste of her lips did the Doctor in. Suddenly without warning something burst deep inside him and the Doctor felt the most exquisite feeling of euphoria that he'd ever experienced. It was at once both the most thrilling and terrifying thing he'd ever felt. With a shudder and a Gallifreyan curse he tore away from Rose's lips and rested his forehead on her shoulder, breath ragged, chest heaving. Yeah he had a feeling that he and embarrassment were going to quickly become great friends in regards to Rose.

"Wha...?" She'd been so hopelessly lost in the sensations the man in front of her was causing, letting instinct take the reins, that his abruptly yanking away had left her head spinning. It took a moment for Rose's brain to catch up, but once the slight dampness on her thigh registered she was able to start putting two and two together. "Did….did you just….?"

"Shut up." Came the muffled reply from her shoulder. "Stupid hormones….told you this body was defective."

"Oh trust me Doctor you're body is far from defective." To say she was surprised at the intensity with which his body had reacted to just a thorough snogging session would be an understatement, but if she could do that to him with just a passionate kiss and a little bit of touching Rose couldn't wait to see what she could do to him when they got to the really fun stuff. "Come on we'd better get back, they'll probably be wondering where we got off to. Let's hope Tony's got mum distracted enough that we can get you in and upstairs without her seeing you in your current state." She didn't even try to hide her gaze as it fell on the telltale wet spot on the front of the Doctor's jeans.

Making their way back to the house the Doctor made sure to keep Rose in front of him shamelessly using her as a shield. They managed to almost make it all the way in to the house and up the stairs before being spotted.

"Oh Rose there you are." Jackie called as she appeared at the bottom of the stairs. Both Rose and the Doctor froze with their backs to the woman.

"Hullo Mum what's up?" Rose turned to peer at her mother over the Doctor's shoulder. Boy if he got any more tense she was afraid that he'd break something, best to get rid of her mother quick.

"I need to run in to town and run some errands would you be able to watch your brother for a few hours." Even after all these years and knowing that she had money now, Jackie still found herself falling back on old habits when it came to spending and refused to 'waste' money on frivolous and unnecessary things like a nanny or babysitter unless she absolutely had no choice. The way she saw it she currently had two perfectly responsible adults other than herself and Pete living under her roof why not make use of them, it's not like they had any other pressing matters to attend to at the moment.

"Yeah sure no problem, where's he at?" Stopping to give the Doctor a kiss Rose moved around the Doctor and jogged back down the stairs took her mother by the arm and led her away to another part of the house giving the Doctor a window of escape.

Jackie of course didn't miss the kiss, "So the two of you worked somethings out did ya?"

"Getting there yeah." The Doctor heard Rose answer before the women's voices fade.

Certain that he was in the clear the Doctor bolted the rest of the way up the stairs down the hall and into his room. Slamming his door shut he fell back against it _'God could this day get any more humiliating?'_ He really wanted nothing more than to crawl back into bed and pretend like this morning had never happened. _'No don't think like that. Yeah it was embarrassing as hell but if it hadn't happened, you never would have gotten snogged senseless by Rose, never would have gotten to experience….'_ Pulling himself from those thoughts as they started causing him to react again the Doctor pushed off the door taking a second to look down, "You mister need to get it together and learn to rein it in or we're gonna find ourselves having a lot more days like this." With that he started rummaging around for a clean pair of pants, surely Rose was wondering what was taking him so long. A short time later changed, the Doctor made his way back down stairs.

* * *

I do have a direct sequel to this story planned, but it won't be the next story I post (I've never attempted to write the kind of story it is before so it's giving me some issues).


End file.
